Do you constantly think about food? Do you constantly worry about food? Do you size your body up after every meal? Before every meal? Are you socially isolated because of food?
These are all signs of an eating disorder, but some how in this world of insta celebs and health bloggers we’ve decided to call it being fit and of all things HEALTHY! About a year ago I started eating vegan. I actually did it strictly for ethical reasons! I was very good about checking protein and everything else up until I started teaching kindergarten. Then it fell to shambles.
I typically leave the house at 6:15am and get back home after yoga at 8pm. Maybe a stronger mind could handle these hours but me, I get home and just throw whatever in my mouth. This led to me just eating chips and salsa or hummus for most meals. Which led to me not getting the nutrients my body needs. Leading to my muscle deteriorating. Spiraling me into a near eating disorder.
I was freaking out! Everyone says the second you turn 25 your body goes to shit… so I started believing it. I thought I would have to cut back on my calorie intake and burn more calories. This was not helped by the fact that I follow tons of bloggers AKA models, whose job it is to workout and eat right.
I had gotten very good at checking labels for nutrients so after I decided to cut back I started checking for fat, sugar and calories instead. I started to keep my daily calories under 1000. I was playing with fire, considering I burn well over that. My body was malnourished and exhausted which led to less muscle definition. BTW I was a gymnast so I have never had a problem with muscles!
I swear for the picture below I literally only danced and did yoga! ZERO gym! Plus I ate out probably 75% of the time.
So anyways needless to say my body changed drastically without the proper nutrients! And the entire time I was doing this I was thinking that I was being healthy. I told myself that the more I worked and the less I ate the healthier I would be. I was also VERY good at hiding it. When my boyfriend came back to town I’d eat out with him even stealing small bites of his cake, which I regretted for days because it wasn’t vegan. My mom was the one to catch me. She sat me down and told me that she loves how dedicated I am to the cause I believe in but she thinks it’s time I give it up because I’d just taken it way past a healthy point. I then realized what I was doing and gave it up that night. It’s been 1 week and 2 days of not worrying about my food and the world is a much brighter place!
Because of all the body issues I was having I decided I wanted to do a sexy photo shoot! I thought if I felt sexy again I might love my body again. What a healing process it was! Not only do I adore the photos and plan to use them for Texans Cheerleader Tryouts 2017, but more importantly it reminded me how much I LOVE being a woman, a real woman with real “flaws” and I own every one. These are all Photoshop free photos from my amazing shoot with the wonderful Amelia Rose!